


Echo

by sharedwithyou



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angstangstangst, Dark, F/M, Schizophrenia, Thor (Marvel) is a Good Bro, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:15:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26925715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sharedwithyou/pseuds/sharedwithyou
Summary: Warning: possible triggers/check tagsThe group stared at Tony in stunned silence. This was officially his dumbest moment. Dumber than when he thought it was Obama Bin Laden.No one dared turn their head to gauge your reaction. Which, luckily, there hadn’t been. As in, you did not choose to offer one yet.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 15





	Echo

**Author's Note:**

> Y’all it’s been a minute since I wrote something dark so here we go. Not for the faint of heart.
> 
> -dashes indicate voice in head-
> 
> If you’re ready for something creepy then enjoy ;)
> 
> Xoxo Bucky the mindfucker

“Hey Clint, what’s the worse thing you can call a woman?”

Clint gave Tony a weird look.

“I don’t think this is dinner-table-appropriate conversation.” Steve was already uncomfortable enough with Tony’sarguably unhealthy fixation on the opposite sex, but this was even worse.

“I dunno, whore?”

“I beg your pardon.” Tasha knew she should’ve gone out to eat with a friend. But she felt bad leaving you alone with these dumbasses. 

Steve had been insisting on eating dinner together as a team. And even in your darkest hours you had a soft spot for Stevie.

“I believe the term bitch is the most terrible,” Thor offered.

Steve was now regretting his plan of everyone bonding over food. 

“Cunt.” Steve’s face turned eggplant as Bucky voiced his opinion succinctly.

Nat the Cat cleared her throat, giving the Winter Soldier a side-eye. “We done here, Tony?”

“Not so fast,” Tony responded gleefully. “Waiting on one more guess.”

Clint sighed. “Care to weigh in, (y/n)?”

You responded by shoveling more food in your mouth.

“Correct!” Tony crowed. “Clint wins a prize. The correct answer is (y/n).”

“I was asking her, not answering, you moron.” Clint narrowed his eyes at the clearly insane billionaire.

“Well you got it right. The worst thing you can call a woman is (y/n).”

The group stared at Tony in stunned silence. This was officially his dumbest moment. Dumber than when he thought it was Obama Bin Laden.

No one dared turn their head to gauge your reaction. Which, luckily, there hadn’t been. As in, you did not offer one.

“So basically (y/n) is worse than bit-“

He didn’t have a chance to finish the word as a blue beam hit him in the neck and pinned him to the wall.

This time, everyone turned. You stood up, your plate mostly clean. “Mashies were great today, Steve.”

“E-extra butter just like you like it,” Steve replied quickly with only a slight stutter.

You dropped your dishes off in the sink, and left the room. 

Only then did the blue beam fade.

“Mashies?” Was the first word Tony spoke after catching his breath. He’d been wheezing for an extra thirty seconds waiting for sympathy or at least a You good bro? But alas there was none.

“Short for mashed potatoes. You dickhead.” 

Nat the Cat started after the retreating figure, but decided to let Bucky go instead.

“I’m impressed. I’ve never heard Brother Rogers curse before.” 

The words were flattery, but Thor was glaring at Tony with an intensity that rivaled Mjolnir. This was the first time Steve had marched out of his own dinner. And before dessert, for that matter.

“Really, Clint? You had to include her?” 

“Tasha you’re acting like this is all my fault. And really it’s 95% Tony. And like 4.9% the weather. And oh yeah, Tony again! “

“We can always expect Tony to say something incredibly annoying-“

“That’s not a valid excuse anymore!” Clint scowled in frustration.

“Don’t you interrupt me Barton! As I was saying, Tony is terrible but he just got Vader-force-choked for a good 2 minutes so I’m saving my yelling at him for later.”

“Oh, dandy!” Tony interjected sarcastically.

“You knew where he was heading for and you led him right to it like a carrot on a stick-“

“What kind of shitty metaphor is that?!”

“Interrupt me one more time and I swear to God-“

“ENOUGH!”

Everyone turned to stare at the source of the voice.

“...oh hey Bruce, forgot you were joining us.”

It’s times like these that Bruce wished he hadn’t fully accepted The Other Guy as a part of him. It was a silver lining back in the day, when he could control the tower with just a reddened face alone.

“Tony, stop using Clint as conversational foil. It’s annoying for everyone to hear you ask him stuff when all you want is to answer it yourself. You want to say something, say it. 

Also, stop saying stupid shit.”

Clint nodded in agreement.

“Clint, stop forcibly including (y/n). If she wants to say something, she’ll say it.”

“Like I don’t, apparently,” Tony commented in a nasty tone. Everyone ignored him.

“Thor-“

“What?!?!?!” Clearly Thor was still rattled by hearing Steve say dickhead.

“Don’t answer Tony’s stupid questions. Also, congratulations on assimilating yourself into Midgard culture. Please continue not calling women bitches.”

“That I can do, Brother Banner. Although it’s not just a Midgard rule of thumb.”

Bruce took a deep breath.

“And now that my dinner is cold, I’m going to find the nearest microwave.”

“Any orders for me, Big Guy?” Nat the Cat grinned, enjoying seeing the mild-mannered scientist Hulk out in a more healthy manner.

“Well if you’re going after Steve, tell him that the mashed potatoes were indeed, quite good.”

-These are the people you chose instead of me?-

You turned the music louder and concentrated on your charcoal.

-A drunk, a former puppet, a femme fatale, three mutants, and my brother?-

You tried to copy the eye you’d just drawn. Why was making 2 eyes look the same so difficult?

-You could have had everything. I would’ve given you the world.-

Ok, one of the inner corners looked much deeper than the other. Where’s the kneadable eraser?

-Maybe more. As many as we could conquer.-

Damn, the eraser was only making it worse. Time to make the other one deeper instead.

-But you traded me in for these cheap friends. -

They’re not cheap. You bit your tongue. Inwardly. The doctor said not to respond to the intrusive thoughts. You can’t say for sure it made them louder. But it definitely didn’t silence them.

Nothing did.

-Ah yes. They might treat you like trash, but they love you deep down. Isn’t that right?-

Sounds familiar doesn’t it? You couldn’t help retorting. You’d all but given up on the drawing. Still life fruits were so much easier than portraits.

-You could’ve been queen. And now you’re a nobody stuck in a pretty prison being mocked in a way that should’ve been a death sentence had you not left me, now let me ask you (y/n).

Was it worth it?-

I don’t know.

“Well, I’ll save a piece for you.”

You didn’t realize you’d spoken out loud. Serendipity you guessed, that it happened when Steve knocked on your door to ask if you wanted cake. If there were such thing.

“And uhm, do you think you can turn the music down a bit? The floor is shaking so it’s hard to play Jenga.”

“Sure.” You didn’t even notice you hadn’t plugged the headphones in. 

You did so now. Tony yelled Thank God, and Bucky called out You’re still alive right, but you felt the page pulling you in as you returned to your art. And every few shading strokes you thought about Loki less and less. 

“If you’re here to lecture me, I’m not in the mood.”

“On the contrary, I’m here to play Texas Hold Them with you.”

“It’s hold’ems, Thor. Nevermind. I’ll deal you in.” Tony cancelled his online match and started a local co-op, thanking the heavens Thor had figured out the iPad. Shuffling a physical deck was always a pain, and the shuffling machine had been chucked out the window since someone-who-shall-remain-nameless tested it to see if it worked using Coulson’s old baseball cards. Which, by the way, it did not.

“Ok, this is when we check our cards. Before the flip. I’ll see your bet, and raise it by 50.”

Tony rolled his eyes. Still, no one else was willing to play so a game was a game.

“Flop, not flip. And you don’t have to say see or raise. There’s a button right here. In fact, you don’t have to say anything.”

Thor had plenty of words ready, and several choice ones, but he decided not to play his hand yet. So to speak. 

As usual, Tony was incapable of staying quiet. “I’m not just trying to fuck with her you know.”

Thor ignored his statement, calculating the odds of a straight flush from his current hand instead.

“I just think it’s healthier not to bottle shit up. You know, express feelings. Talk it out. And one of the ways to get someone to do that is to piss them off.” He looked to Thor for sign of agreement, but the God of Thunder was focused on the cards.

“I talked to her psychiatrist and they said (y/n) wasn’t opening up. So I kind of took things into my own hands. A little unorthodox but hey I eat bacon. Eh, I don’t even expect you to get that joke.”

“All in.” 

“Did you hear a word I just said?”

“Yes. The psychiatrist violated doctor-patient congeniality and should be fired and reported to the appropriate authorities. You went behind Lady (y/n)’s back because you’re too scared to actually ask her how she’s feeling. You’re also not kosher. Are you going to call my bet or what?”

Yikes. Tony didn’t have a good retort after that. “I...fold.”

Thor resisted the urge to mutter ‘coward’, opting to continue the conversation instead. It was rare Tony folded; he’d rather waste a few grand continuing with a bluff than admit defeat. Half pride and half extravagance, he supposed. “So why are you scared to ask (y/n) how she is?”

“Uh, did you not see her throttle me with magic?”

“We both know you’ve been goading her towards that for days.”

“Yes, a normal person would’ve snapped sooner, and therefore at less intensity.”

Thor rolled his beautiful blue eyes. Still, Tony hadn’t protested the fact that he was scared, so that was pretty big progress. “I suppose there are certain things that I can answer in her stead, if it will help.”

“Damn bro, and here I thought you’d neveroffer.” 

Thor has been tight lipped before, since really it was your right to decide what should be deemed necessary, and what not to divulge. But a healthy open talk didn’t seem possible any time soon. 

Desperate times call for shitty measures.

“Ask away. Though I reserve the right not to answer if I feel it’s not my place.”

“That’s fair. Ok first things first, the powers she uses are like Loki’s, right?”

“Sort of. They are unique to her, but I suppose they are more like his, than anyone else.”

“Is it because the two of them uh, shared, uh, DNA?”

Thor looked at him, confused. 

“They are not related in any way.”

“That’s not what I’m saying. Er, asking.”

“I’m not sure the source of her magic. All I know is that it’s powerful, not to be underestimated.”

“I meant did he influence it... organically? Was it a result of...him? Himself? Him being with her?”

“They did study together, so it’s quite possible they rubbed off on each other.”

“See now you’re purposely being confusing.”

“I am not definitely not the one who’s confusing currently.”

“Aw geez.” A voice came from above. It was not God. “He wants to know if they both shoot out blue stuff because they banged. Also it’s confidentiality not congeniality.”

“Thanks for clarifying Hawk. Now leave us alone.” Tony was miffed.

“Actually I’d feel more comfortable with brother Barton here now that I know the caliber of questions you want to ask. I need someone to witness this abomination. And to support me in this daunting task of responding to your moronic curiosity.”

“Yeah sure whatever.” Tony agreed dismissively. “So, is that why they both shoot blue stuff?”

“I’m happy to say, I don’t know.”

“He asked what?!”

“I know right? Obviously the big question is if she’s also a God. And if so, does that actually change anything?”

Tasha shook her head in disbelief. Normally she’d chalk it up to Tony being Tony, but Clint had been right. Rudely annoying, but right.

No more passes for him. There’s no earthly excuse for why his first question about you involved sex. With Loki.

“But he does have a point. Not about the content of his questions: obviously he’s a degenerate.”

“Oof.” Clint reminded himself not to piss off Nat the Cat anytime soon.

“But we should write our questions down for the eventual conversation that (y/n) will have with us. That way it will be organized, and she can skip the ones she doesn’t want to answer and we

can still move along efficiently.”

“Wow, nerd alert!”

“This is why I get recon missions and you’re stuck babysitting witnesses.”

“There might not be glory in my jobs but I definitely complete my tasks gloriously.”

“Horrible pun. Let’s move on. What’s the first question you want to ask her?”

“Can she make a clone? And if she does, can it cook?”

“I thought I was on dish duty today.”

You shrugged at Bucky as you scrubbed at the gritty bits stuck to one of the plates. Bruce was not allowed to use the microwave anymore. Evidently the physicist had never done the age old potato in microwave experiment.

“At least let me dry. Or put them in the dishwasher.”

“If you insist.” You took off the rubber gloves and handed them over. Since he was nice enough to offer you didn’t want his mechanical arm to short out.

“Takes more than water to mess with this baby.”

“Well there’s soap too.”

He laughed. Steve wouldn’t have been sure if it was a joke or not, but Bucky understood and enjoyed your droll way of speaking, humor or not.

“About Tony.” Bucky definitely felt it was not his job to apologize for the Iron Asshole. Still he wasn’t afraid of confrontation like some people were.

“You know who I grew up with. His little barbs are nothing.”

“Then at dinner that was...” he trailed off so he wouldn’t seem accusatory.

“Well there should be a limit, don’t you think?”

He nodded. “Agreed.”

“Hey (y/n), Bucks, Whachu doing?”

“Is that a real question or a set up for a joke?”

Clint smiled abashedly. “I take that as a sign of forgiveness for earlier. I mean, they say you can lead a horse to water-“

“I thought it was you lead a horticulture-“

“Oh, so we’re not done degrading women for the day?”

“Hey it makes more sense than your carrot stick metaphor-“

“Say, (y/n) you want to go for a jog?” Steve walked into the kitchen not a moment too soon as you silently watched the conversation derail.

“I’m going to get back to drawing.”

“No cake then?”

“I guess not.”

A second after you left the room, Tony popped his head in.

“Psst, is she gone?”

“Oh look who’s here. Everyone get your lecture faces on.”

Tony sighed. But maybe this would still be better than having to go after you to apologize. “Fine, go ahead.”

Clint brightened, eager to start, but Tasha put a hand over his mouth. “No, I think that right goes to (y/n) first.”

“Damnit Nat! Why can’t you yell at me instead.”

“Gladly. Once she has her turn first.”

“Hey I just had an honest-ass talk with Thor. That’s all the straight-up-ness I can handle for one day.”

“That’s ok.” Tony was surprised Bucky was on board. “We can just all ignore him until he makes things right.” Looks like Tony had celebrated too soon.

“Aww, lay off him Bucky.”

“Thanks Steve.”

“He’s too much of a coward to actually say sorry.”

“Nevermind.” Tony was not liking this kitchen situation. “See, this is why I turn to drinking!”

“So, did focusing on menial tasks help at all?”

“No. Surprisingly performing robotic tasks did not distract me at all. It’s almost as if doing something that doesn’t require mental effort gave my mind plenty of time to wander.”

The psychiatrist, “Dr. S as in smile” scribbled something on her notepad. Probably something like patient shows signs of hostility, not responding to my expert suggestions. 

“Well lets continue practicing our mindfulness exercises. And there’s still a spot in Tuesday evening group sessions.”

“Maybe next week.” You didn’t feel like divulging galaxy secrets and Asgard intel to a bunch of B-Team emotionally shattered narcs.

-That’s harsh, my love. And that’s coming from me. The one who has the right to hate them.-

“(Y/n), you’re showing avoidance behavior. It’s unhealthy.”

-Doctor is unresponsive. Prepare for lobotomy.-

You giggled.

She frowned, writing some more notes. “Mental health is no laughing matter. I know people your age might find it cool to make light of therapy but it’s important and necessary.”

-Yes, those young’uns in their 2100s are so immature.-

You tried to hold it in, but let out another giggle. Time to lie and seem normal.

“It’s not you, I just keep remembering a joke Tony told at dinner yesterday.”

“Oh?” Dr. S as in smile smiled. “You’re not eating alone anymore?”

“The team has dinner together every night. Steve said I didn’t have to go, but I’ve been attending, yes.”

“Very good.” She was glad she could finally put something positive in your report. “Would you like to share?”

“Let’s see. You can take a horticulture-“

“Nevermind.” She checked her watch quickly. “I see we are out of time. Let’s schedule our next session.”

“Don’t bother.” She opened her mouth to interrupt so you spoke louder. “I’ll see you next Tuesday.”

“Fantastic!” Hopefully Director Fury would see this tape and allow her to work with the other agents. She was tired of being in the HMO circuit. “Well I’m off to my normal patients now. Which way to the elevator again?”

“Down the hall to the left.”

“That was mean of you.”

“Pardon?”

“You just called her a cunt.”

“It’s not my fault they run those meetings on Tuesday’s.”

“Yeah but you just said it so you could insult her.”

“Come down from the vent, your echoes are overlapping one another.”

Clint dropped down expertly. “You and I both know you’re not going.”

“Well you aren’t a spy for nothing. How did you know?”

“Well for one thing she’s not actually SHIELD employed. She’s not allowed at those meetings. She doesn’t even know they’re actually on Thursdays.”

“I suppose Tony gave her the wrong information just to mess with her. And myself.”

-Well look at that, the drunk did something right. Hired an outsider so his boss couldn’t spy on you. How considerate. Though he could’ve chosen a less incompetent one.-

“Yeah, he wanted to find a hot psychologist. Psychotherapist? Whatever, shrink. Apparently the one Fury employs is an Uggo.”

“Attractiveness and competence shouldn’t be inversely proportional.”

“Yes. Just happens to be in this exact scenario.”

“Hmm. So what’s your excuse for eavesdropping?”

-So this is how they foster trust in their little organization. Send that puppet to spy on you.-

“Well as you said I am a spy.” He responded glibly, before frowning slightly. “I guess that was kind of wrong. You deserve privacy.”

“I wasn’t expecting any. Dr. S as in smile was reporting to Tony the whole time. And I believe it was also being filmed.”

“Sheesh. And I thought I was bad.” He looked at his feet for a moment. “Well even a charlatan can be right sometimes, yeah?”

-He’s talking about himself.-

“I do feel better, if that’s what you’re asking.”

He punched you in the arm gently. “Good. So you want to chase Tony down and hear his most likely half-assed apology?”

“No I think I’ll hold onto this good mood for a bit and finish my portrait.”

-How on Midgard did she make you feel better?-

She reminded me you could make me laugh.

“I’m surprised you’re joining us for dinner again, (y/n).” Nat the Cat winked at you encouragingly. 

“Steve promised he’d make more mashies.”

“Uh, you know what, I’m not feeling hungry.” Tony had hoped your absence from appetizers meant you were still peeved and he could continue avoiding you. 

“Sit.” Steve could be commanding, even outside the battlefield.

“Oh, right.” You stood up and rolled your sleeves up.

“Lady (y/n) I would advise you show some restraint.”

-At least he’s stopped calling you sister. I could never tell if it was an avenger-brotherhood-type term or the fact that you were almost his in-law.-

“Not that he doesn’t deserve it,” Clint added eagerly.

“Can we ever have one meal without it turning into a bloodbath?” Bruce wondered aloud.

“You chowderheads. She is just going to wash her hands.” Thank the heavens at least one of the crew had any sense.

“Yes. I’m not really looking for the charcoal flavor.”

“That’s too bad. I was just thinking how the salmon would be better charbroiled than poached.”

“Well then next time you cook, Bucky.”

“I would but everyone is too bourgeoisie to enjoy Kraft Mac n cheese.”

“For the record I’d eat it.”

-Of course he would. There’s no ounce of nobility in him.-

You scrubbed your hands thoroughly, hoping his voice would subside, even a little.

“Ok everyone shut up I’m about to say something.”

-As if any of your words were more than a waste of air.-

He was angry on your behalf. It was slightly touching, but mostly unnerving.

“I’m sorry. Ok? I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry for?” Clint nosily asked.

“That I didn’t do this one on one.” Still, Tony continued. “I just want to put everything out on the table. 

You...scare me. With your blue alien voodoo and your history with the guy who tried to take over the world-“

“To be fair, that happens every few months with different folk.” Bucky mused.

“I said everyone shut up! Anyway, I find you freaky. But I want you to be happy. Not just because I’m afraid you’ll destroy the tower if you’re not.”

“Eh we’ve all been there.” Bruce said with a smile.

“God, let me finish! 

(Y/n), I want you to be ok. You deserve it.”

“I-I’ll be in my room.” You backed away, smiling weakly. 

“Wait-“

“Enjoy your dinner.”

And for the first time in your life, you fled like there was no tomorrow.

“Was my apology really that bad?” Tony pouted.

“Eh, C minus.” Nat the Cat said rolling her eyes, but was secretly pleased.

“Thor-“

“What?!?!?!” This was the second day in a row the God of Thunder became severely wigged out.

“...Pass the peas.”

You sat down heavily and stared at your drawing. You’d captured the mischievous twinkle in his eyes. The half smile half sneer that so often danced across his face. The exact angle from his cheekbones to his chin.

When will you stop haunting me, Loki?

-Are those tears in your eyes?-

For once his voice wasn’t sharp, snide, sarcastic or even accusatory.

You turned your head so the portrait wouldn’t get ruined by splotches.

-I’ve never seen you cry.-

You balled up your fists, trying to keep your breaths level.

-Not when your parents passed. Not when you fell off my horse and shattered your knee.-

You wanted to cover your ears, to scream at him to stop talking for even just a few moments.

-Did you cry when you heard of my death?-

Don’t you know?

-How could I? I wasn’t there.-

You were so muddled by the turbulence within you didn’t hear the pounding on your door.

“Lady (y/n), let me in!”

Thor burst in, holding a piece of pie.

“Brother Rogers insisted I bring dessert. 

But I must know. Why were you so frightened earlier? I’ve seen you take down giants without batting an eye.”

You stared at him in silence. He thrust the plate at you, waiting for you to take it. When you didn’t, he set it on the table next to the drawing.

“That’s a great likeness in the nose.”

“Thank you.”

“Now can you answer my question?”

You turned your confusion onto him. “You really saw your brother die?”

“Is that what troubles you?” He put a hand on your shoulder and guided you back to your chair. 

“Loki is gone. I hope you can find closure.”

“I hear him, Thor.”

This was the first time you admitted that out loud to anyone.

“It’s normal to remember the ones we loved and the things they said.”

“Constantly. As if he were still here.”

“That sounds like a side effect of loss. Perhaps we can find you a more competent psychiatrist than Dr. Smile.”

You shook your head. “They’ll pump me full of drugs.”

“Not likely. But whether they do or not, you’ll find peace. And that’s what’s important for each of us.”

Are you still there, my love?

For a long moment, there was no response.

-You still love me?- He sounded insecure, unsure.

I never stopped.

-But you left me.-

And so you choose to terrorize me? The words were harsh, but they were true.

-Terrorize you?- His voice was defensive. Is that what you think of my company?-

You are wise, are you not? Look upon what you’ve said to me for the past months. And then rephrase it how you see fit.

A sigh. -I suppose I have been a bit petulant.-

Is sub-par apology the theme of the day?

-Do not compare me to that fool!- Another exhalation. -But you have a point. I’ve been rather unforgiving.-

So do you? Forgive me?

-I don’t recall you asking forgiveness when I was rotting in a cell.-

That is a no, then.

-I haven’t decided as of yet.-

I suppose it doesn’t matter.

-Oh?-

Since you’re dead, your voice will fade eventually. Slowly, perhaps. But gradually silence will take over. And I’ll be free.

-Don’t count yourself so lucky.-

Thank you for confirming my suspicions.

He laughed softly. -You were always a bright one.-

Since you’re not, you have plenty of time to decide.

-I suppose I do.-

Take your time. And when you do, come find me. Tell me to my face. Not just in this wilderness you’d call my mind.

He chuckled once more appreciatively.

But until then:

Let me go, Loki.

-As you wish, (y/n).

We both know I’m already on my way.-

And just like that, he was gone.

**Author's Note:**

> WOOOOOO
> 
> Leave a comment if u liked!!!
> 
> Quick poll 1: what part made you laugh
> 
> I like Thor’s poker moments. FYI I put in more Thor moments for my soul-twin
> 
> Quick poll 2: DID I GET YOU AHAHAHA MINDFUCK HEHEHE
> 
> Yep Loki is alive. Just like when he fooled us the first time
> 
> Does this need a sequel? Hmmm
> 
> Hope you lovelies are doing well!! Let me know in the comments what you’ve been up to
> 
> Xoxo Bucky


End file.
